A Positive Change

Sometimes it is the simplest things in life that we enjoy that are also the things we so easily take for granted.  Many of you that are reading this have shared some of the adventures we had in India.  People have been asking, how is Fiji similar or dissimilar to your time spent in India and the USA? Do you miss anything?  Which place do you enjoy most?  There are many things I have missed about all the places I have lived, but few of them truly amounted to much importance.  I am realizing that now.  During my time in India there were things I missed.  Hot water from the tap and the ability to communicate without frequent misunderstandings.  Driving, and the independence that it provides. Juicy cheeseburgers.  On demand drinking water.  Pulling hot laundry from a dryer.  Sharing a sense of humor and a set of values with those around me.  I missed the freedom to wear certain clothes without judgment.  Autumn leaves and summer barbeques with friends.  My mom’s fresh baked bread.  Late walks through decorated neighborhoods at Christmas.  Common conveniences, fresh air.  Sunsets on the lake.  Mountains.  Freeways.  American style customer service.  Quality art supplies.  Going for a walk.  Regular phone calls from friends.  Running in a field with my children.  Mind-blowing variety and selection.  Most of all I missed my family back home.

When I came back to America at first I couldn’t believe how much everyone had changed.  My friends seemed different, everyone did.  I felt out of place in a familiar environment.  Then as time passed, I realized I had changed.  I wasn’t the same person anymore.  I had daydreamed about returning to the United States too many times to count and I think I formed an unrealistic image of what my homecoming would be.  Once we returned I started reminiscing about our time abroad, how easily we sometimes forget hard times and recall only the good.  I missed simplicity, my neighbors at Aparna Towers, my daughter’s best friend who came to play each morning.  I missed plane rides, and passport stamps.  Sharing profound experiences and making lifelong friends.  The adventure.  The excitement.  Being on vacation in the United States.  The value of a dollar. Seeing poverty everyday that reminded me to be more grateful.  Seeing the world.  I missed our family being together, I missed my husband and sharing experiences with him that brought us closer with each passing day.  I also realized out all the things that I thought I missed in India only about two of them truly mattered, real friends and family.

Coming to Fiji was a tough decision.  When we told people we were leaving some of the first questions were: Have you been there?  Where will you live?  Do they speak English?  What are you going to do with your house?  The only real question of importance to me was could I handle the reality of being separated from those I love again?  Family is very important to me and my parents have built a beautiful relationship with my children since we returned.  Guilty feeling overwhelm me at times.  I know they support our decisions despite their own heartbreak.  Thank you.  This move is allowing our family to be together.  It is allowing us to slow down and bring priority back to the things that really matter to us.  We didn’t come here for the beaches or the beautiful waters.  We didn’t come here for the money or career advancement.  We came here to be a family and to raise our children and to let them see a different view of the world.  To let them see their mother and father together in a successful marriage.  To sit down as a family for dinner.  I came here to wake up next to my husband in the morning and say goodnight to him before bed.  I came here to make a positive change in my life.  I appreciated different aspects of all the places I have lived but for now I think this is where our family needs to be.  I hope this new life is the positive change we hoped for.